Kate Freiman-Fox, 60
Founder of Authentic Connections Matchmaking Service
Sorry I’m late—I imagine you tell clients not to be late for first dates.
I do. But I also tell them, “Don’t panic and call me until it’s been 10 minutes.” You never know why someone is late. Maybe they couldn’t decide what to wear.
How long have you been a matchmaker?
In March, it’ll be four years. I got out of prison. [Pause]. I was a psychologist in a prison for 26 years. This is my retirement project.
What has the transition been like?
Running a business has been a big transition. But it’s not so different—it’s the installation of hope. A lot of people have never dated, and there is a great deal of fear and hopelessness.
Who is your typical client?
I have people in their 20s and 80s. But the majority are people in their 40s.
How do you know when folks are a good match?
Prior to matching, there is often a conversation about the “must-have” list and how much of it is written in stone. A great match is often outside the tight framework of that list. I often joke that if I had used my “must-have” list, I never would have married my husband of almost 20 years. Part of my job as a matchmaker is to look at those important, often intangible dimensions when matching. Those intangibles include things like values, humor, and personal energy.
Do you recommend people Google their date before they meet?
I think you need to be circumspect, to take what you see with a grain of salt. Looking at people online—it doesn’t affect them, they don’t know you’re doing it. But it affects you to be making such harsh judgments. I don’t think it’s good for the soul.
What mistakes do you see people making?
A big part of a matchmaker’s job is breaking people of their assumptions. Being online gives people the illusion that there are a lot of people out there who meet your criteria. What’s the phrase—the perfect is the enemy of the good.
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