So much has happened in the last two weeks, it’s hard to figure out what to focus on. Oh, right, on second thought, it’s not actually that hard.

It turns out that writing about the coronavirus tinfoil-hat brigade that descended on the ReOpenNC protest—and calling them “dumbasses,” because, well, yeah—brings out all sorts: “I believe this hyped-up ‘scare’ over the Corona Virus [sic], while this has been the most successful scare so far, as far as causing the most amount of money and chaos, from an operational level that was a success if that was the goal, like the Onion news for instance,” writes RUPORT. “However, in the end, this will go down the drain like Global Warming did when it comes time to show actual numbers, and just like the oceans didn’t rise, and the numbers reflected such, the virus total will be far less than the 2.2 million ‘apocalyptic’ prediction said. So Americans will just be that much more wary of FAKE news and HYPE in the future.”

Editor’s note: The oceans are rising, and the prediction of 2.2 million Americans who might die from COVID-19 assumed no mitigation efforts whatsoever. 

“Don’t know who the state-worshiping douches canoe is that wrote this article, but ‘INDY’ should be replaced with ‘MSM Lapdog,’” writes THE MILKMAN. “Fearless independent local journalism, my left nut.”

“I thought organized protest was the highest calling one can aspire to a brainwashed leftist like yourself. What happened?” asks OUTRAGED. “Oh yeah, it’s different if you’re antifa.”

“Time to let natural selection do its job,” counters JB. “You can’t continue to protect people from themselves. The gene pool needs some chlorine, and this might be just the way to do it. But the punchline is that they seem to have forgotten that business was in the tank because of this virus before any of the preventive measures carried the weight of law and before North Carolina had even topped 100 cases or a single death. But if they think that 5,000 cases and 125 fatalities later, people are going to be more inclined to come through those doors they want opened so badly, I say let ’em. Please proceed, slack jaws.”


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