Super Wok
1401 SE Maynard Road, Cary
919-388-8338
www.superwokcary.com
Fu Kee Express
6320 Capital Blvd, Raleigh
919-872-2661
Beansprout
3721 Hillsborough St., Raleigh
919-755-0554
www.beansproutchinese.com
Other Triangle area restaurants that may work for you, chosen based on an informal poll:
Happy China
2505 Durham-Chapel Hill Blvd., Durham
919-237-2021
www.happychinasichuan.com
Handy Chinese Restaurant
5279 N. Roxboro Road, Durham
919-471-0237
Jade Palace
103 E. Main St., Carrboro
919-942-0006
www.jadepalacecarrboro.com

Dec. 25, 2013. While other families honey-glaze ham and decorate cookies, mine huddles for warmth outside Bill & Harryโs Chinese Cuisine on Route 10 in New Jersey. The wait is an hour long. To pass the time, we discuss Wolf of Wall Street, which we just saw, debate the menu (โGeneral Tsoโs or Kung Pao?โ), and argue why we didnโt make a reservation. The same thing happens every year.
Jewish Christmas is not a calendar holiday, but where Iโm froma Garden State suburb half-an-hour due west of the Big Appleitโs celebrated with as much merriment as the real deal.
Hereโs the tradition:
On Jewish Christmas Eve, wish for no snow. No one wants a white Jewish Christmas. On Jewish Christmas morning, exchange zero presents, then go to the movies. Pre-buy tickets and strategize show times so you can see at least two films back-to-back. Popcorn, chocolate-covered raisins and oversized sodas are sacred. As soon as the credits roll, head to your favorite Chinese restaurant. Make a reservation, if you can, though takeout is fine.
I should mention, my hometownโs demographics are a bit skewed. In the public school system, seventh grade is colloquially called โBar/Bat Mitzvah Yearโ (the Jewish coming-of-age celebration). New Jersey, according to 2010 data, has a 5.6 percent Jewish populationthe second highest in the country, next to New York with 8.4. North Carolina, on the other hand, has 0.3 percent. Oy vey.
I moved to Raleigh in June and, within weeks, missed bagels and lox (no offense to biscuits and fried chicken). But it wasnโt until the fall that I realized I hadnโt found my Chinese place for the holiday.
Serious research ensued.
I began by polling localsmany of whom responded with, โYou mean, like, authentic Chinese?โ
I shook my head. Jews celebrating Christmas by smuggling sesame noodles into the 6 p.m. showing of Mockingjay arenโt looking for authentic anything. In many ways, thatโs the whole point. Jewish Christmas means celebrating not-celebratingthe inauthentic, the absence of mainstream tradition.
This does, however, complicate the search. The โauthenticโ choicesthink Gourmet Kingdom in Carrboro or Captain Jโs in Raleighare critically acclaimed, with in-depth reviews and local awards.
The โinauthenticโ optionsthose greasy American-Chinese dives we keep on speed dial for midnight cravingshide in a labyrinth of informal internet reviews: Yelp, Urban Spoon, and the like. There, the line between a good and bad restaurant is thinner than a lo mein noodle.
The spots where I could find my Jewish Christmas feastGeneral Tsoโs, pork fried rice, and an egg rollare limitless. But what about a place where the General Tsoโs is conservatively breaded and genuinely spicy? And the pork fried rice is full of spareribs, freckled with vegetables, speckled with egg? And the egg roll is good enough to fight your brother for?
American-Chinese is a guilty pleasure novel. You wouldnโt bring it up at your book club, but itโs too good to put down. It hasnโt won any awards, but everyoneโs reading it.
Before I could sample options in the Triangle, though, another concern arose: Will southern American-Chinese restaurants even be open?
Using personal recommendations and online research, I developed a list of 14 restaurants to contact. Of the finalists, only one (Davidโs Dumpling and Noodle Bar in Raleigh) will be closed for the holiday. A merry Jewish Christmas to (yโ)all!
To most restaurants, the question seemed strange. โYou mean Thanksgiving?โ asked one. โUhgive me a minute,โ mumbled another. It wasnโt until I called Fu Kee Express that I heard some Jewish Christmas spirit.
โChristmasevery yearweโre open,โ he said. โVery busy.โ
โGreat!โ I said.
โYouโre from New Jersey, right?โ
Caller ID, I wondered, or mind reader? Either way, I was curious enough to place an order.
That night, I ventured to three Chinese restaurants and picked-up the same order from each. I selected the spotsFu Kee Express, Beansprout, and Super Wokbased on their reputations, as well as their proximity to my home. (If you arenโt similarly located, see box for other suggestions.)
At Fu Kee Express, the man I spoke with earlier elaborated on holiday business: โIf youโre going to do a big order, call early. People do 50, 60, 70, 100 dollar orders.โ
They sound like my kind of people, but the food, unfortunately, didnโt measure up. The fried rice was egg yolk-yellowlovely in texture, but off the mark in flavor. Beansproutโs was well-seasoned with soy, but lacking mix-ins. And Super Wokโs was just right.
The rest of the meal followed this Goldilocks pattern.
In the end, Beansprout confirmed why people confuse American-Chinese with โbad Chineseโ: too much dough and cornstarch where there should be meat, too much MSG where there should be punchy flavor.
For my money, Iโll be dining at Super Wok. A few chopsticks-full of fried rice and, suddenly, I was back on Route 10, freezing my tuchis off. Whatโs more, the restaurant was the only setting where I could picture my 84-year-old grandma sitting down, pulling a Tupperware of Scotch out of her purse, and flagging down the nearest waitress for โa glass of ice, bubbala.โ With subtle decorations and abundant seating for large groupsincluding two round eight-topsthe space is ripe for (faux) festivity. If you arenโt slated to be smooching someone under the mistletoe, Iโll see you there.
This article appeared in print with the headline โLet it tso, let it tso, let it tsoโ


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