It is a daunting task to locate the rare cinematic gem buried under the pile of needlessly exposed celluloid that gets thrown into the multiplex every Friday. Sadly, and as always, the bad outnumbers the good. So, a little list-making is in order for the worst of the worst, the crème de la crème of trash that gunked up the screen. Here, is the list of the 10 worst films of 2007. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
1. Epic Movie (Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer)Once again, Hollywood banks on the tried and true success of the spoof (Scary Movie, Date Movie) with this wiseass crack at blockbusters. With its steady stream of regurgitated mini-plots, cheap pop-culture jokes and tired slapstick (if it falls down it must be funny), this the epic bomb of bombs.
2. Because I Said So (Michael Lehmann)The latest chick flick from Lehmann fails to rekindle the bitchy snap of his first film Heathers, resorting to failsafe rom-com rules that instead are as saccharine as Duncan Hines brownie mix. Although an über-sensitive portrayal of modern dating and love in the millennium is somewhat forgivable (even if it is predictable), Diane Keaton’s portrayal of an overbearing middle-aged mother is cloying and annoying.
3. Wild Hogs (Walt Baker)Putting Tim Allen, William H. Macy and John Travolta on big ol’ bikes to stave off mid-life crises sold tickets, yes, but fell short as a fly-by-night resurrection for fading film stars. This film wastes more time on old-age jokes and pratfalls than necessary and its homophobic subtext is pointless and tiresome.
4. Balls of Fury (Robert Ben Garant)A sports spoof about Ping-Pong players? This movie had plenty of potential to parody the underdog sports film and martial arts cinema, but instead obsessed over Asian stereotypes and grotesque slapstick.
5. 1408 (Mikael Hafstrom)A horrific bore of a horror film, this Stephen King rehash is worse than Saw IV, Hostel II and Captivity combined. This film isn’t as gory as any of the above, but its lackluster portrayal of the paranormal (melting phones, slamming windows, shadowy figures) would be laughable if it weren’t so dull.
6. Who’s Your Caddy? (Don Michael Paul)A weak retooling of Harold Ramis’ Caddyshack, this film attempts to infuse urban swing into a whitewashed Southern golf course. The film courts racism and class stereotypes with its white vs. black politics and its dunderheaded conflict between the slobs and snobs.
7. Mama’s Boy (Tim Hamilton)With its weird Oedipal premise (a 29-year-old son refuses to let dear old mom enter the dating world) this film feels as awkward as an ill-fitting pair of pants. Jon Heder’s oafish slapstick doesn’t pair with Diane Keaton’s re-re-resurrection of her neurotic middle-aged momwho should sweep this film under the rug.
8. Bratz (Sean McNamara)Based on a line of scantily-clad fashion dolls, Bratz purports to teach pre-teens a “be yourself” attitude, but instead endorses consumerism with an all-out advertisement for cute clothes, cuter boys and cool ringtones.
9. Sydney White (Joe Nussbaum)An attempt at reconciling geeks and Greeks, this film is more like Revenge of the Nerds mixed with a sexist fairy tale about sorority sisters than a revamping of a children’s classic. Amanda Bynes recycles her twit-with-wit attitude and comes up empty-handed as the film’s archetypal innocent romantic princess.
10. Captivity (Roland Joffe)Torture porn at its most x-treme, Captivity services the wet dreams of hyper-masculine adolescents. Even with its minimally feminist ending (the Final Girl gets her revenge) there’s too much anti-woman propaganda to allow this film to achieve anything greater than smut-house horror.