BRUXES
Saturday, April 8, 8:30 p.m., $8
Deep South, Raleigh
www.deepsouththebar.com

For the better part of a decade, Rachel Hirsh has been performing with the pop-rock outfit I Was Totally Destroying It, co-piloting the band on vocals, guitar, and keys alongside longtime local John Booker. But when the band slowed down and stopped touring in 2012, Hirsh began writing songs on her own terms. After a few slow-burn years of developing her solo material, Hirsh released her debut EP as Bruxes, Boys Will Be Boys, last fall. There, she opened up about her mental health in songs that brood behind gleaming production. From her Raleigh apartment, Hirsh shared her thoughts on some of the music thatโs shaped her own musical work.
BIKINI KILL, PUSSY WHIPPED (1993)
Like many women who grew up in the nineties, Hirsh got introduced to the riot grrrl ethos of third-wave feminism via the inimitable Kathleen Hanna.
I stumbled across them in the used-CD section at the Schoolkids on Franklin. The Singles was the first CD I got by them, I was twelve or thirteen at the time. It opened up my eyes to this whole new world of music. At the time, I was listening to the radio, because thatโs what you know what to listen to when youโre twelve or thireen. The radio was nothing but nu metal at the time. Kathleen Hanna is definitely a really big inspiration to me, in terms of taking up a lot of space and being really vocal about her politics through music. The Girls to the Front movement is really awesomehaving a really safe space for everyone at shows. Sheโs just the coolest.
I stumbled on Bikini Kill, Sleater-Kinney, and Le Tigre all at the same time, and then I was just insufferably cool about them. I just got way into nineties indie rock, and late eighties, early nineties punky stuff. That really shaped what kind of music I ended up wanting to pursue. I was like a crash-course feminist teenager, where I had no idea what I was talking about, but I believed in it with all my heart. I definitely still had a lot of weird musical missteps along the waynot missteps, but decided I liked random things that arenโt cool on paper as a teenager, like youโre supposed to do when youโre figuring out what music you like.
โTHERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUTโ
THE SMITHS, THE QUEEN IS DEAD (1986)
The influence of eighties pop production and, in particular, Johnny Marrโs guitar work, weighs heavily on the overall sound of Boys Will Be Boys.
I wouldnโt say that Iโm a huge Smiths fan, but Iโm a huge fan of eighties production. Iโm a big fan of shimmery guitars and snares that sound like theyโre being played in an empty warehouse. One of my favorite songs, period, is โHow Soon Is Now.โ I wish Iโd written that song.
I really like the glossy, synthetic, kind of dramatic sounds of the eighties. Which is weird, because I also love the super stripped-down, raw, nineties indie rock stuff, where no one really knew how to play their instruments and are just being loud. Balancing those two is really fun, but confusing.
I WAS TOTALLY DESTROYING IT, HORROR VACUI (2009)
This cut from I Was Totally Destroying It is the power pop high-water mark on the bandโs excellent third record.
I donโt want to say that Bruxes is mine and Destroying It is Johnโs, because we both collaborate with each other on those things. He wrote a lot of the music for Bruxesnot the songs, but the things that he plays, and was very integral to the production of the EP. Bruxes is definitely a more personal project for me.
In 2012, after Destroying It stopped touring, I got really bummed. I didnโt know where to channel my energy next, so I just kind of started writing songs for myself just to kind of prove that I could still do it. Bruxes is like my weird โIโve got something to proveโ project. Weโre not super activeIโm not going on tour and playing a ton of shows or anything, but itโs kind of my โI can do thisโ project.
NATALIE IMBRUGLIA, LEFT IN THE MIDDLE (1997)
This one-hit wonder is in Hirshโs repertoire with 120 Minutes, the nineties cover band she performs in with some of her Bruxes bandmates.
There are definitely worse ways to spend a few hours working than playing stupid songs with my friends. Iโm pretty sure it was John Booker who was like, โWe should totally do this! The nineties are coming back!โ We were really excited about it, because thatโs our shit.
Itโs definitely not a cool thing to donone of us are like, โYeah, weโre hot shit, weโre in a nineties cover band,โ but itโs nice to be playing music and look out and see the happy recognition flash across someoneโs face when you play their song from college or high school. Itโs a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling.
HANSON, MIDDLE OF NOWHERE (1997)
Hirsh freely admits that she was once a massive Hanson fan. โWhereโs the Loveโ was the bandโs second single after its mega-hit, โMMMBop.โ
They were the first band where marketing worked on me. I was a bit young when it first came outI was sevenso it kind of took a year or two after that to be like, โOK, I love Hanson now.โ It was the first thing where I totally bought into the hype. I bought books about them, I had merch, and I would freak out when they put out new CDs and stuff. I donโt get fanatical about a lot of stuff. I love a lot of different things, but there are very few things I get fanatical about. One of those things would be Hanson. I loved them, and Backstreet Boys, and to a lesser extent, NSYNC at the same time. Those were really my, โI like boys!โ bands.
I immediately bought tickets at The Ritz to see them in September. Itโs disturbing how excited I am. I guess I just didnโt outgrow that love for them. I stopped paying attention to them after a while, because I turned into an insufferable Bikini Kill fan.
โTHE DAY THE WORLD TURNED DAYGLOโ
X-RAY SPEX,GERMFREE ADOLESCENTS (1978)
The bandโs frontwoman, Poly Styrene, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1991, and Hirsh spends much of her EP sharing her own experience with the condition.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2009. I guess the tip is โWrite what you know,โ and I felt like I kind of burnt out on the kind of stuff I was writing for Destroying It. I was kind of like, โMaybe I should stop trying so hard and reel it back in and write what I know.โ And what I know is me, and all my bullshit.
Stripping everything down and admitting a lot to myself was very therapeutic. I am the most confident and strangely happy Iโve ever been right now. Iโm legitimately happy right now. Iโm happy, because Iโm acknowledging that Iโm unhappy, if that makes sense. Iโm just being very honest with myself and everyone in my life. Itโs much easier to navigate life that way than pretending everythingโs OK and that thereโs nothing wrong.
It was a nice way to reach inside of myself and pull out everything that I was not wanting to admit to myself, and at the same time, reach out to other people and let them know, โThis is actually what Iโm like.โ
Poly Styreneโs awesome. At the time, she didnโt have the super-commercial look to her. She wore weird clothes and had braces and stuff. That was really cool that she was like, โThis is what I look like, and Iโm in a punk band with a saxophone, so deal with it.โ
KATE BUSH, HOUNDS OF LOVE (1985)
Hirsh suggests we close our session with the immaculate title cut from Bushโs celebrated LP.
I want to sound like that. Hounds of Love is perfect. Sheโs another unapologetic weirdo. This record is awesome because it came after The Dreaming, which people gave her a lot of shit for, because it was so off-the-charts weird. It was her artsiest record to date at the time. She started out as this very coquettish ingรฉnue with [1978โs] The Kick Inside, and then she put out The Dreaming [in 1982], and it was mad weird. She was interpretive dancing, and everyone was like, โOh, Kate, youโre crazy!โ Then she came back with the most perfect record and it exploded. She had all this success, and sheโs just basically like, โYeah, Iโm a genius, everybody suck it.โ
Iโm such a fan, musically and personally, of people who are unapologetic. Iโm a big admirer of people who are true to themselves and just lay it out there.
This article appeared in print with the headline โHear Her Roar.โ


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