There are, by my count, at least two news stories involving a clown and a machete in the past twenty-four hours. One involves an Insane Clown Posse fan chopping off his friend’s pinky finger as part of some kind of ritualistic memorial ceremony for a fallen Juggalo. RIP.
The other clown-and-machete story comes from just down Interstate 85, in the Triad, where, as we mentioned yesterday, there have been reports of clowns lurking around and trying to cajole young children into the woods.
The clown monsters first cropped up in Greenville, South Carolina, last week. On Sunday, they were in Winston-Salem.
Now, according to the Greensboro News & Record, they’re in Greensboro:
A man who spotted a clown near an apartment complex chased that person with a machete, police said today.
The clown was spotted about 10:05 a.m. at the apartment complex The Park at Oak Ridge, at 5856 Old Oak Ridge Road, said Susan Danielsen, police spokeswoman.
A man called 911 to report the clown, and chased the person into the nearby woods with a machete, Danielsen said. Officers responding to the call could not find the clown.
It’s unclear if the clown was male or female, Danielsen said. The clown was wearing a mask, yellow dotted shirt, blue pants and had red curly hair. The apartment complex was notified of the incident, she said.
Oh, come on! Again the clown disappears into the woods? Where are these clowns going after they get into the woods? Secret bunkers? Are there secret clown bunkers in the woods?
Winston Sunday, Greensboro today. Hillsborough tomorrow? WE WILL CONTINUE TO MONITOR AND AGGREGATE THESE LOCAL NEWS REPORTS.