Happy Tuesday, everyone—or, as the cast of SNL would say, “Only four more days until we get to lampoon a member of the Trump family.” Who’s feeling lucky this week? We’ll give you a hint. Her name rhymes with Sha-lania.

1) Trump’s wife blames Billy Bush for “grab ’em by the pussy” tape.

Well, apparently, there is a way to “egg” somebody on to the point where they boast about being a sexual predator. Solid logic, Mrs. Trump … said nobody ever. Oh, and also, for the record, it wasn’t “locker room talk.” It was “boy talk”—because, you know, boys talk about forcing themselves onto women and whatnot all the time.
From her ghastly interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper:

She said they were engaged in “boy talk, and he was led on — like, egged on — from the host to say dirty and bad stuff.”

But even though her husband didn’t—cough, cough, cough, cough—actually commit the acts he was bragging about—cough, snicker, eye roll—she said she agreed with first lady Michelle Obama that kissing or groping a woman without her consent is sexual assault.

Speaking of Mrs. Obama, aka the second-ever female president of the United States (can anyone say, “2024?”), it’s a shame, for Mrs. Trump anyway, that FLOTUS’s husband was never caught on tape, or on Howard Stern, or on The Apprentice, or on the campaign trail, or on his private plane, or in Trump Tower … being a misogynist and saying dumb shit. If so, she probably would have done a sit-down with Cooper and talked about it, giving Melania another opportunity to lift the first lady’s words.

2) Donald Trump Jr. tapes show apple doesn’t fall far from tree; SNL scrambles to find someone who can impersonate him.

Anyone up for some jokes about the mass movie theater shooting that unfolded in Aurora, Colorado, in 2012? Good news. Donald Trump Jr. has you covered. Apparently, just like Daddy, DTJ has ZERO tact when he does radio interviews.

From CNN:

In July 2012, on the same day a gunman killed 12 people at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, Trump Jr. joked about still giving the movie “two thumbs up.”
Trump Jr. made the comment on “Opie and Anthony” after soundbites were played of witnesses speaking about the tragedy.
“Everything was going good until, uh, we saw gas and sparks, and sounded like really strong fireworks, uh, and then you just hear people yelling and actually just a few, uh, rows away from me a girl gets up holding her jaw. I guess she had got shot,” a witness said.
“Overall I give the movie two thumbs up,” Trump Jr. exclaimed in reaction.

3) James Taylor stumps for Roy Cooper, says North Carolina is on the wrong track.

It’s hard to dislike James Taylor. But apparently, it’s not hard to dislike Pat McCrory. On Monday, the singer-songwriter was stumping for his gubernatorial pick, Roy Cooper, and said the state of his home state is, well, sad.

From the N&O:

“It’s been hard to watch what’s happened under this present administration over the past four years in North Carolina,” he said. “It’s time to get back on the right track. It’s time to take our state back and to re-engage our future. To become part of the right direction again.”

4) Cooper, McCrory to debate tonight.

With only two days left until voting begins in North Carolina, the two men vying for the state’s top job will take the debate stage tonight.

From debate host WRAL:

WRAL News will host the hour-long debate, which will be held at 7 p.m. Oct. 18. Anchor David Crabtree and Capital Bureau Chief Laura Leslie will serve as moderators.
The debate will air live on WRAL-TV and be streamed live on WRAL.com and will be available to other media outlets statewide. It will air on Fox50 at 11 p.m.

Enjoy the day, guys and gals. Bye for now.