Good morning, one and all. Well, unless you’re a political scientist. You guys and gals should be ashamed of yourselves. I mean, how dare you conduct “phony” polls to keep Donald Trump from winning the White House.

1) Trump tells crowd he is, in fact, winning.

Polls? He don’t need your stinking polls:
The Donald told a crowd in Florida yesterday that, get this, even the polls are “rigged” against him. From WRAL:

Even as his path to the presidency narrows, a defiant Donald Trump is insisting he is “winning” and urging his supporters to defy what he is calling an establishment conspiracy to deny the White House to his populist movement.
Trump, in the middle of a three-day swing through battleground Florida as thousands began voting there in person, hammered the “disgusting” media on Monday for its “phony polls” that he claimed were the latest signs of a “rigged election.”
“The media isn’t just against me. They’re against all of you,” Trump told cheering supporters in St. Augustine. “They’re against what we represent.”

2) Secretary of Commerce dismisses impact of HB 2.

Losing the NBA All-Star Game? No biggie. How about the NCAA Tournament, countless rock shows and businesses who say they don’t want to bring jobs to a discriminatory state? Not a problem. Well … says Secretary of Commerce John Skvaria who will, from this day forward, be called “The Most Delusional Man in North Carolina.” Apparently, John drank the Kool-Aid. From the N&O:

Major sporting events like the NBA All-Star Game have pulled out of North Carolina over House Bill 2, and prominent business leaders have criticized the bill for damaging the state’s economy. But state Commerce Secretary John Skvarla says the bill’s business impact isn’t anything to worry about.
“It hasn’t moved the needle one iota,” Skvarla told the Observer Monday during a visit to Charter Communications’ training center in Matthews.
North Carolina is in the “best position” it’s ever been in, financially and operationally, Skvarla added, citing the state’s taxes, regulation, quality of life, workforce and environment that make it an attractive place for companies to relocate.

Shocking stuff … coming from a guy who was appointed by Pat “Are We Really Talking About This” McCrory.

3) N.C. to PayPal: “Give us our bowl back.”

In other “dumb shit to come out of Skvarla’s brain” news, the commerce secretary triumphantly told reporters in Charlotte that PayPal might have cancelled plans to bring jobs to N.C. because of HB 2, but the Old North State got the last laugh. We took our bowl back, SUCKA! From the N&O:

Over the last year, when companies announced plans to grow their footprints in North Carolina, state leaders have presented them with an unusual gift: An oak bowl carved from wood from the state capitol grounds.
So when PayPal unceremoniously canceled its plans for an expansion in Charlotte over opposition to House Bill 2, state officials did what any jilted ex might: Asked for their stuff back.
“We reached out to them and said, ‘Give us the bowl back.’ That is a North Carolina artifact from the North Carolina state capitol made by North Carolina artisans for companies that are coming into North Carolina,” N.C. Commerce Secretary John Skvarla told the Observer Monday.

Who needs the millions—and dignity—HB 2 cost us anyway? We got the BOWL, baby. BOOOOM!

Ok. Off to bang our heads against the wall. That’s it. Bye for now.