OK, compared to the two most horrific bills of the week—one allowing God-fearing magistrates to discriminate against gays and lesbians, and the other to force womenfolk to wait three days before getting a legal abortion—the killing-Bambi-on-the-Lord’s Day legislation seems minor.

But this ridiculous bill provides yet another glimpse into the minds of the gun-lovin’, gay-hatin’, mansplain’ lawmakers. (Hat tip to WRAL, who managed to report this story without irony.)

Under the measure, hunters with guns must wait until noon on Sundays to shoot animals, but they can still do their killing on the Sabbath. This levels the playing field with the bow hunters, who have been able to mortally wound deer, squirrels, wild turkeys and whatever else was “in season” on that day. Hunters would have to stay 500 yards (1,500 feet) from a church or home. Praise the Lord, pass the ammunition!

Here are some choice quotes from the WRAL pieces:

  • “A little bit of dirt under their fingernails, a little bit of dirt from the outdoors on the soles of their shoes, might combat some of the dirt they’re putting into their minds with a click of a mouse,” said Rep. Jimmy Dixon, R-Duplin, the bill’s primary sponsor”

(While remote-controlled Internet hunting is illegal in 38 states, including North Carolina, there are plenty of hunting simulation games available with a “click of a mouse.”)

(Clearly, Jews and Muslims, whose Holy Days are not on Sundays have a hunting advantage. This must be stopped! They’re getting all the good bucks!)

  • “But Rep. Marvin Lucas, D-Cumberland, argued that hunting was little different from the bevy of festivals, road races, golf tournaments, sports events and other distractions that already take place on Sunday.”

    (Unless you’re running a marathon with a 12-gauge or putting on the 14th green with a Winchester.)

    The House has passed the bill, as did the Senate Agriculture committee. It now goes to the full Senate for a vote.