“Mr. Tarantino – where are you – you have two minutes for your presentation.”

At Thursday’s Durham Council work session, Mayor Pro Tem Cora Cole-McFadden had the honor of “introducing” musical satirist John Tarantino, a local gadfly who’s run for council (twice), state senate and school board in recent years, and lost every time.

But that doesn’t discourage the conservative crooner from coming back to Durham’s City Hall to serenade council members during work sessions with his latest piece of topical humor, set to the tune of an old popular song. Call him Ted Nugent crossed with Mark Russell (John’s not quite funny enough to be “Weird Al” Yankovic.)

On Thursday, he performed his new number “San Bernadino,” set to Jose Feliciano’s version of “Guantanamera.”

“Full disclosure,” said Tarantino, as he introduced it, “ I have a biological son who lived in San Bernadino for about 25 years, so I’m a little…” (pause for dramatic sigh) “… This touched me on a couple of levels.”

And so he plucked the first few pretty notes on his acoustic, and sang:

People of Durham

My name is John Tarantino

And here is my warning

We got in San Bernadino

Their badge did not save them

Two young terrorists killed them

Muertos catorce

At Social Services that day

[Unintelligible] White House reporters

And new executive orders

Many gun owners

[Unintelligible] all these loners

So if I am threatened

Baby I want my weapon

And so on – you know, the usual “If-Hillary-Clinton-hates-guns-so-much-and-wants-to-take-mine-then-why -does-she-get-to-have-armed-Secret-Service” caliber of deep thoughts.

When his time was up, and his tune was done, there was dead silence for a few awkward seconds. Cole-McFadden broke it with: “OK…moving right along…”

Tough room.

You can listen here, if you’d like: