My husband and I were married during prom season (a mere coincidence, I assure you), so when we go out for our anniversary dinner, inevitably we find ourselves seated next to a glamorous party of six. Corsaged and boutonniered, they float in a plume of of Axe body spray while the server places a half-dozen Cokes (three regular, three diet) on the table before them.

The confining clothing, the evening’s high expectations: There’s always some level of drama at the prom tables. One year, the date went bad (theirs, not ours), and a girl fled to the bathroom, crying. Her girlfriends rushed to console her, leaving several clueless guys at the table gnawing on bread.

I didn’t attend my senior prom for several reasons. One, being a 17-year-old insolent Lone Vixen, I forsook such sentimentality.

I am a rock! I am an iiiiisland!

The second reason was I didn’t want to wear a dress.

I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.

And the third reason was I had a much-older boyfriend, and the relationship was verboten. Had we gone to the prom, he would have done five years and would not have been released until he was 38.

If I never loved I never would have cried.

No, it would not have been A Night of Sweet Dreams like the 2011 prom at Northern High School. Several years ago, I found Northern’s prom program on a sidewalk outside the Marriott in downtown Durham. I stuck it in a drawer at home, and unearthed it during a recent spring cleaning.

The Senior Superlatives: Predictably, the Outstanding Knight and Lady went to cheerleader Jazmyn Boone and football player DeAngelo Hopkins, who now is a wide receiver for East Carolina. (Shouldn’t Outstanding Knight go to a member of the Chess Club?)

The very funny Alison Gerepka has not yet appeared on Saturday Night Live, but she is an English major at UNC and a digital marketing intern at Algonquin Books.

Most Athletic, Kailey Farmer hit .579 with 14 doubles and seven home runs as a senior. She now plays outfield for the Campbell University Camels softball team. Her male counterpart, Blake Williams, ran cross-country for UNC before transferring to the University of Texas.

Adrienne Jernigan, Most Likely to Be a Teacher at Northern, made the dean’s list at N.C. A&T. Jenna Frush, who plays basketball at Duke, was selected the Most Competitive girl.

For the Most Competitive boy, football star Anthony Burton and basketball standout Matthew Redic tied.

They must have hated that.

Urban Archaeology is a bimonthly column that documents found objects, photos, overheard dialogue, poignant scenes; the small, everyday true moments that define life in the Triangle. Contribute to this column at