Vicki Wentz

Five more days, folks. Sunday’s your last day to put something in the collection basket, or get a perm, or maybe, eat. In five days, the government that rarely “giveth” will nevertheless “taketh away.” And April (a month that begins with a day dedicated to making us look like idiots) will officially become the driving […]

Have you had “it” yet? Everyone I know has “it.” I, personally, just recovered. What is it? First it’s just a tickle in the throat. No big deal, you think, I’ll do a little Zicam. So, you do a little Zicam. Then, your eyes start itching, your nose starts running, you start coughing, and you’ve […]

Men and women … the never-ending game … the mystery … the temptress and the tempted … the Adam and the Eve … the one who can dress for a wedding in a minute and a half and the one who starts laying out “ensembles” the day after someone’s proposal is announced. … Two random […]

Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Thanks so much for coming. Mother: [beaming] Oh, we don’t mind at all. We’ve received several calls from Tommy’s teachers. He’s such a special boy. Well, yes … I think special is an appropriate word for Tommy. But … Father: Special [reddening slightly]? One more call from a teacher, […]

I planted a crabapple tree in our front yard in 1995 because I wanted to make crabapple jelly once before I die. This bewilders my friends, who have begun to snicker, but the crabapples are finally big enough, so get a pencil: Step one: Ask your neighbors’ young children to come over and pick the […]

Saying I’m not a good flyer is like saying Osama isn’t a very nice man. I hate flying. I admit it. I’ve faced the truth, and the truth has set me … in a car. Or a boat, or a train, or a bus. However, situations can arise where flying is necessary–where time must trump […]

Ten years ago … when I was 10 years younger … I raised money for children’s cancer research by walking from my house in Chapel Hill to the top of Grandfather Mountain. A dear friend had recently died of cancer, unable to live to see his grandchildren. I couldn’t afford to donate money to a […]

Has anyone noticed that children now “need” 180 days of school, and teachers “need” workdays every 15 minutes. Neither pronouncement was made by a teacher. Teachers want to teach. They’d give up a workday anytime, if they could teach from Labor Day to the end of May, like the old days, and not live in […]

I visit the grocery store at least three times a week, being incapable of getting everything we need for more than two days. Sound familiar, ladies? You get what’s on the list, and come home to discover you’re out of Q-tips (vital for so many things), bathroom freshener (like gold in some households), and cumin […]