If I were a more inspired man, I might record a novelty version of Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back In Town” for the Durham Bulls’ return to action this week.

Guess who just got back today? Them wild-eyed Bulls that’d been away. The Bulls are back in town. The Bulls are back in town.

Wait. I spelled insipid wrong, and I would be damned to ever disrespect such a benchmark of rock ’n’ roll with such poor taste. Seriously. Don’t do that.

Anyway, it’s opening week for our beloved Bulls, the reigning Triple-A National Champions who return to the DBAP with a full slate of only-in-the-minors promotional action for their legions.

Replete with pre- and postgame fireworks, food truck rodeos, an entire LEGO weekend, and meet-the-team events, in addition to some of the Bulls’ regular and most beloved promotions like Kids Run the Bases night and this year’s first Bark in the Park installment, the Bulls are going all out in getting the new season underway.

Check out the Bulls’ robust promotional schedule here.

But the dark of a Durham summer night sky won’t be the only place to see fireworks at Bulls games this year (NAILED that transition), as the team fields a host of top young prospects this campaign.

The Bulls talented infield—which includes Willy Adames, Jake Bauers, Christian Arroyo, and reigning MVP of the Triple-A National Championship game Kean Wong—should settle into a nice rhythm as soon as the season starts. Meanwhile, the outfield boasts the perfectly-named-if-he-played-in-the-1920s Johnny Field alongside recent call-up Justin Williams and the hard-hitting duo of Jason Coats and Brandon Snyder.

Fans will see a host of new faces on the bump this summer, as Chih-Wei Hu will be the only returning starter. He’ll be joined by Jose Mujica, Anthony Banda, and Vidal Nuno, who has seen action in The Show with the Yankees, Mariners, Diamondbacks, and Orioles.

But it’s a long season, and we’ll be covering the Bulls often, so enough about them.

I want to talk some more about Thin Lizzy.

Because I have a theory and that theory works as such: Thin Lizzy is the greatest band of all-time because NOBODY doesn’t like the ‘Liz. (Editor’s note: Not entirely accurate.) Sure, there are bands that are more revered and more accomplished, bands that carry more historical and cultural import, and bands that are far more beloved. But many of those bands carry with them hosts of detractors. Perhaps they’re contrarian or maybe the just really can’t stand The Rolling Stones. (Editor’s note: Who doesn’t love the Stones?) Whatever it is, almost every famous band has legions of haters.

But the simple truth is that pretty much everyone is down with Thin Lizzy. The spectrum runs from fanatical to “Yeah, that one song about cowboys is pretty sweet,” but I defy you to find me a person who genuinely hates Thin Lizzy. (Editor’s note: Over here, Mike.)

And if you find that soulless person (Editor’s note: We need to talk about your future employment), show them this video of the time the band invited an elderly woman who wanted to play keys with them to perform a British television show. Dude. That solo would make Edgar Winter smile.

Perhaps it’s their roguish lovability, that they were the kind of rock ’n’ roll pirates who might steal your girl and somehow you would be totally OK with it. Or the fact that they wrote the most ass-shaking grooves ever committed to tape. Or how they sang songs about unfathomably cool guys with names like Valentino, Johnny the Fox, Cocky Rocky, Dino, or simply The Rocker.

Whatever the reason, the fact remains. Whether passionately, fervently and with a healthy dose of insanity or just kind of a little bit, “you know, if it comes on the radio,” everyone likes Thin Lizzy.

Editor’s note:

This completely unproven, unscientific phenomenon means that the band’s absolute lack of detractors puts them at a higher average than any other band who has ever existed, thus making Thin Lizzy the greatest band of all-time.

Anyway, Go Bulls. See you at the park.