Earlier this week, Raleigh’s Hopscotch announced that one of 2015’s scheduled headliners, the Atlanta psych-rock band Deerhunter, had canceled their upcoming dates for “personal reasons.” This included their Hopscotch appearance. Yesterday, the festival revealed that Montreal post-punk band Ought would fill the slot.

Ought are a good band, and I won’t disparage them here. But I also think few festivalgoers would choose Ought first as a replacement for an established national act like Deerhunter. (Some are very excited, though!) So, as people who don’t know much at all about band fees or booking politics do, I made a list of other possible replacements.

Who knows, though: Maybe they did try to book Hanatarash?

1. THE REPLACEMENTS
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
*bike horn*

2. FUGAZI
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: No
Ian MacKaye’s D.C. punk institution famously charged only $5 for shows when they could. The band played to packed crowds for more than 15 years before calling it quits in 2003. Getting their reunion would be a huge catch for Hopscotch, but Hopscotch wristbands cost more than a Happy Meal.

3. SMASH MOUTH
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: No
’90s leftovers Smash Mouth last appeared in the Triangle in April at the after-party for the Raleigh Rock ’n’ Roll Marathon. Their performance was shaky at best, largely because of frontman Steve Harwell, visibly drunk at 11 a.m. on a Sunday. Perhaps the Mouth are not a wise booking choice, but take a moment to imagine Smash Mouth opening for Godspeed You! Black Emperor. The most experimental bill of all time.

4. BEACH HOUSE
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
There are many bands with Beach in the title, but there are few bands currently with more heat and crossover appeal then Baltimore’s Beach House. Not much to say besides this would actually be a great choice.

5. JACK WHITE
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Kinda?
Onstage, Jack White will attempt to break five world records, do a magic show and sign someone in the audience to his label, Third Man Records.

6. REAL ESTATE
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
Few rock bands would be more primed to replace Deerhunter at any event than New Jersey’s Real Estate.

7. THE DEAR HUNTER
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Fuck. I don’t know.
Providence prog-emo outfit The Dear Hunter aren’t quite Deerhunter. Maybe they’re bigger than Deerhunter. I don’t know much about prog-emo, to be honest.

8. CARIBOU
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
I’m surprised that Dan Snaith’s electronic project Caribou haven’t played Hopscotch before.

9. CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
Hopscotch will pay this former buzz band in cigarettes (American Spirit, natch) and by letting them sleep at the Etix office.

10. THURSTON MOORE BAND
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
Every person who has attended Hopscotch the last few years knows that, if there’s a stage, Thurston Moore will play it.

11. HANATARASH
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
Notorious for destroying a music venue with a bulldozer in the ’80s, a reunion of this cult Japanese noise act would fit perfectly in City Plaza, as long as Hopscotch switched things up and put them dead last. Sorry, Godspeed.

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12. ATLAS SOUND
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
Bradford Cox of Deerhunter works in mysterious ways. If anyone was punk enough to cancel their main band’s set and then agree to book their ambient side project, it would be Cox.

13. SLOWDIVE
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
The shoegaze community in this area may not be large enough to warrant the cost, but the recently reunited Slowdive would make a lot of sense and bring many dedicated fans to Raleigh come September. Admittedly, Slowdive into Godspeed might be too much guitar.

14. BJÖRK
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
It’s hard to say for sure, but I would guess that if Björk actually played City Plaza, every dirty alleyway on Fayetteville St. would magically clean itself. Plants would suddenly sprout. Sidewalk drinking ordinances would revoke themselves. Things would be OK again!

15. KEVIN GATES
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
Hopscotch already has a solid hip-hop lineup with Father and Pusha T. A City Plaza performance from eccentric Louisiana rapper Kevin Gates would be the icing.

16. HENRY ROLLINS DOING SPOKEN WORD
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: No
Spiritualized and The Jesus and Mary Chain have blessed past Hopscotch lineups with their beautiful, sometimes sleepy guitar textures. So what better to lull you to sleep this year than the voice of former Black Flag frontman Henry Rollins, telling a story about watching Fox News?

17. MAC DEMARCO
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Yes
I’m not really into this idea, but everyone under the age of 25 into music has a friend who would be stoked.

18–20. DEATH GRIPS/THE HAXAN CLOAK/XXYYXX/DUCKTAILS/ACTION BRONSON/VAADAT CHARIGIM/ETC.
COULD THEY REPLACE DEERHUNTER: Debatable
So, all these bands already canceled scheduled Hopscotch appearances. What are they going to do, cancel twice?