Look, we’ll be honest, we thought this was going to be dumb.
And it is! Jonathan Byrd, the phantom of The Kraken, has reworked Johnny Cash’s “I’ve Been Everywhere” for the realities of life under COVID-19 quarantine, which is undoubtedly a silly thing to do.
But Byrd executes this silliness with a lot of spot-on smarts and some genuine LOLs; it’s a clever travesty and a warming dispatch from life as it’s lived now, in White Cross as elsewhere. There’s a reason the video has racked up more than 30,000 views in a little over a week.
Some favorites bits:
- The strong start: “A film by Tentin Quarantino”
- The poignant way he touches the screen door at 0:42
- The so-true part about trying different pillows on the bed
- The fact that Byrd is wearing a cowboy hat but is also barefoot
- When he’s about to eat a whole pear with a knife and fork
- “Wonder how long ’til my neighbor gets his guns out”
- The ominous way he approaches the Amazon packages piled on the porch
- When he gets so deep into the internet he finds Myspace
- THE HIPSTER BOXER BRIEFS AT THE END
Like we said, dumb. But kind of genius.